You know those moments when you think ‘if I were in a reality TV show- not only would the audience absolutely hate me, they would think I was an awful parent.’
Haha okay so I may be on my own here but I’m sure you can relate to ‘feeling’ like a bad parent.
I was at my friends sons two year old birthday party and I got talking to another Mama. She had just had her second little girl and was gushing about how ‘fabulous’ life was with her two children under the age of two….
Now I’m not one to lie…. I mean a little white lie never hurt anybody but when I started rattling off about how there are days I just want to hide from my kids or send them away- her face went white.
Like ‘nobody ever told me Santa was fake’ white.
But I didn’t stop there- coz it wouldn’t be a real conversation if I didn’t over share.
So I decided to tell her about how I can’t pee without an audience, how showers are my only real ‘me time,’ how I sometime secretly wish I had a mute button for my kids and how I wish my husband had breasts so he too could breastfeed.
She went from white to almost green- it didn’t take long for her to slowly shift her and her kids away from me. She avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the party and pretended I wasn’t there!
Either she has the most angelic kids in the world or she is in serious denial.
Or maybe I just need to curb my oversharing in public scenarios. Maybe it’s a combination of all three. Either way I know that I have moments where I just know I could have handled myself better. But I don’t beat myself up over it nor would I judge another parent.
Here are just some of the moments an outsider may have seen me in my home life and wondered whether or not I was fit to be a parent.
That time I hid in my pantry and ate the last three Snickers bars (all fun size) and told my husband the kids ate them…..
That time I stuck my finger up at my toddler (behind her back) because she was giving me serious cheek…..
That time I changed my baby’s nappy on the park bench WITHOUT using a change mat (the death looks I got were deadly- I haven’t been back to that park since)
That time my kids had cake for dinner because I couldn’t stand them screaming CCAAAAAAAKKKEEEE
That time I didn’t have any wipes in my baby bag so I washed my baby’s bum in the ocean after she did a number two in full sight of half the beach goers in South East Australia…….
That time I stuck my finger up behind my husband’s back because he bailed on date night because his ‘team was playing……’
That time I forced my kids to eat brussel sprouts but I pretended to already of finished mine…..
That time my three year old sang the first verse AND chorus of Katy Perry’s ‘I kissed a girl’ really, really loud in the middle of church (this actually happened)
That time I drove my kids to the local police station and threatened to send them to jail if they didn’t start making good choices (I’m choosing to raise law abiding citizens)
That time my three year old wanted to wear her sisters underwear on her head to the shops and I didn’t stop her (it looked like a cool headband)
That time I told my kids to pee in the bushes because I didn’t like the look of the toilets in the public park…..
I can’t say that this is the full list of all the things I’ve said and done that I’m not proud of- but the free version on WordPress won’t allow for all that many characters (just kidding) but I’m sure you get the idea. They aren’t the worst things you can do in the history of parenting but I definitely had moments of weaknesses. But I think if we are honest and we don’t judge one another- then us Mama’s can be an amazing support network.
What times have you fallen short of perfect in the parenting world?